Do guys really need space
It was about one year into our dating relationship when I sensed a difference in my boyfriend. My normally exuberant and passionate other half had become withdrawn, distracted, and disinterested when we were together. I scrambled to urge him back to his normal self by increasing the amount of time we spent together and being extra affectionate. I pushed him until he burst out with those three dreaded words:. His declaration stopped me in my tracks as I racked my brain to try to figure out what I had done wrong. I feared the worst.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The Real Secret to Keeping Your Man (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What to Do When a Man Pulls Away or "Needs Space"Content:
- Dating Men: If You Really Like Someone Should You Give Him Space?
- How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back
- What It Means When He Says ‘I Just Need Some Space’
- What to Do When He Says He Needs Space
- 10 Obvious Hints Guys Give When They Want More Space
- 7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship
- The One Perfect Thing to Say When a Man Says He Needs “Space”
- Why Men Pull Away & Ask For Space In A Relationship — And What To Do About It
Dating Men: If You Really Like Someone Should You Give Him Space?
The anxiety of a man needing space. It can make you feel blinded by fear of the worst. Unfortunately and fortunately, this dizzy time of worry and stress is so important for the future of your relationship with this man.
First of all, I want to say that this article is for women who are already in an exclusive relationship. See how to stay high value when he pulls away…. Remember that the specific words I am about to give you are only a starting point. So, in giving you this one perfect thing to say, it is just a starting point to get you on the high road. Again, words are only a starting point. Body language, actually caring for a man, and your true understanding of the value in giving him space, will make up the rest of it.
What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…. In other words, he has had life stressors outside of your relationship together and he cannot cope with all of that plus your relationship at once.
Sometimes men ask for space because he feels like a woman is taking too much from him without giving back. And you know what? Every man is going to feel that way about his woman at some point in time; because this is the natural feeling that men and women have about each other in long-term relationships, when their psychological and biological needs clash.
What does this mean? Sometimes, a man may just feel like the woman in his life is taking more value than she is giving back, and unfortunately, evolution kind of designed men and women to feel this way, when intertwining our lives with a human who is the opposite of us.
Yes, evolution designed men and women this way. Let me explain. Because of what we are built to seek out and want from life. It will sometimes feel like the relationship is too much work to him. Our task — if we want to be high status, high value, is to learn to offer so much value to him and his life, that he naturally becomes eager to be there for you and to love you and cherish you.
But even then — and make sure you listen to this — even then, sometimes it is just not meant to be. This all just means that the reason I want you to learn to give lots of value, is not just so you can just catch any man and keep him because you will be able to as a high value high status woman. The reason I want you to learn to give so much value is because at the end of it all, all of this is really about who you become.
Because, even if your current relationship never works out — at least you can walk away a higher value woman — when you have super high value, you can connect with any man you want anyway.
Your confidence is everything when it comes to relationships. Although, you have every right to feel numb and untrusting. I still can go there — rarely, but I can.
The world can be a dark, scary and suspicious place at times, and if you come from a hurtful, unstable background, then yes — numbness and a lack of trust probably permeate every fabric of your life. You know what? Sometimes, things are just bigger than us! There could be many reasons a man asks for space…but if we want to get to the core of the issue, usually the reason men want space from the relationship has to do with value — ie: the relationship is not adding enough value to his life at this time and for time leading up to it.
Sometimes, we just get needy totally normal for any woman, or even man and he gets angry and frustrated because he perceives that the neediness is a burden on his life. Let us stop and think. What is really happening when a man tells you he needs space?
Is it you being a terrible partner? Are you in the wrong? Are you the problem? Or actually, is HE the problem? This is not a you problem. This is a human problem. It is a universal problem.
This anxiety and the neediness that you feel when a man pulls away is just how things go in relationships. Women and men too get needy.
It is a basic law of how humans work in relationships. It is definitely high value to learn and practice not coming across as needy. But there is no need to obsess over your actions in the past. It is all okay because we have all made huge mistakes and there is very good reason why women or men get needy.
As a general rule, women become needy when they feel unresourceful. They feel needy when they feel like there are enough resources for them attention from men, commitment from men, money , and we can get needy when men signal that they are going to pull away….
Because of the threat of loss of resources — mainly emotional resources. We want a man to be romantically and emotionally all ours.
Why else do we get needy? Unless of course, a woman has enough resources within her own family that having a man is just a bonus. To protect ourselves; to look out for ourselves…to secure resources for ourselves. It is okay. We are all living organisms that want to survive, and protecting yourself is a part of the deal. Being a sociopathic value-extractor. When you are too lazy, or too resistant to life to care about adding value back to a man, then that is a problem.
Simple neediness because you became scared to lose a man, is a simple problem that can be worked through; and that is what I am here for. It is my privilege to be able to deliver information to you, and I hope it helps you. Now, we can go further and add more words to this, but the essence of it is that you are communicating from a mature place, not from fear. Try to say it with a true desire to be mature, high value and give to him and say it with love.
Some women might be shocked reading my one perfect thing to say. Connection is the true desire of all of us deep down, and more importantly — connection is what strengthens the relationship — not evening the playing ground or having a power play. Because we are just trying to make a last-ditch effort to exert power over him, rather than exhibit a sign that we are a mature woman capable of putting connection first, not power.
By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out! As I mentioned previously, it is a make-or-break moment! It means that the intent you have behind your words, and the understanding that you show when a man needs space is potentially the last time you will get a chance to build a positive association in the relationship — positive enough that he will want to come back to you for more, time and time again.
And for that reason — it is important that you respect the seriousness of this make-or-break moment. Especially for yourself. Breathe in all the uncertainty that you are experiencing. Breathe in all the fear and the heavy sense of loss you desperately resist feeling.
Breathe it all in, and if it happens, let yourself cry. When a man is communicating to you — he is communicating one of either two things sometimes both :. As much as you want to protect yourself by asking him for more or getting combative with him, as much as you want to secure the relationship for yourself, you need to say to him that you understand.
And as the conversation progresses, you could consider doing your best to speak and act from a giving place — not from a fearful place. You are doing one high value, evolved thing: connecting with what HE wants.
And respecting where he is at. Even IF you do not fully understand where he is at, it does not matter — what matters is that what you say, adds value to him, and helps your relationship progress. Remember back to a time where you felt all alone, like nobody cared. Remember back to an emotionally difficult time — maybe when you were a child and you felt abandoned. What is the one thing that would have basically set you free? What is the one thing somebody could have given you that would have been a godsend?
It is validation for what you are feeling. It is somebody understanding you, and what you felt, with no strings attached. You may be wondering…. Am I allowed to have my own feelings? The challenge when a man asks for space is how evolution may have wired fear into us — we are wired to fear abandonment.
And yes, horrible things do happen in this world. However, with regards to men, even if you get hurt, rest assured that you are strong enough to get through to the other side. And many times, the truth is that even though you feel anxious — things really are okay, and your primitive brain has just had a freak out.
Your mind will often have worry and anxiety. But remind yourself that it is okay, and you now have permission to risk being high value — to risk giving value, and getting outside of yourself — to give more than feels comfortable. You risk too much. It means he needs space — and it means that if you can communicate lovingly to him in response to his request for space, then you get a chance to show your value to him in a way many other women would not.
And here… on how to stay high value when he does pull away….
How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back
Men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships. We need frequent reassurance about ourselves, our career paths, our efficacy as partners, our sexual prowess , and our attractiveness among other things. I have countless male clients telling me every month that their partners rarely let them know what they like about them. Why not just have more of a good thing?
Evolution is a wonderful thing. Men are undoubtedly hardwired differently than women. He may have actually asked for more space or stopped texting you back as fast as before. Is this cause for concern?
What It Means When He Says ‘I Just Need Some Space’
Few things are as frightening or nerve-wracking as a man needing space. The way they process and experience things is different. Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women. The number-one reason a man pulls away is that he is stressed. The source of his stress could be the result of some issue in the relationship, but it might not have anything to do with you at all. Men will typically view themselves as weak and incapable if they voice their feelings or lean on other people for help or support. The way women handle difficult emotions is probably much more psychologically healthy and healing, but it is what it is. He will want to hide away until he has reached a solution. Men have a much harder time processing and handling emotions than women do.
What to Do When He Says He Needs Space
It's amazing how three simple little words can throw any women into a panic when uttered by a partner—"I need space". While it is super easy to start freaking out over the fact that someone you are into wants some space from spending time with you, it doesn't necessarily mean that something is amiss. In fact, most men need space from someone after doing the deed. It's why it is so rare to find a dude who actually enjoys cuddling post-romp. While it's nerve-wracking, giving someone space they need to realize what they have is something that can really build a healthy relationship.
One of the most complicated situations that arises when we first start dating someone is figuring out how often we should see him or her:. I have been on match. Our first date lasted the entire day because we were having so much fun. Feels like we've known each other forever.
10 Obvious Hints Guys Give When They Want More Space
Most serious relationships will need a break every so often. And by break, I mean some serious soul-searching time apart like sleeping in separate rooms, taking a solo trip abroad, or moving out completely. Many people look at this as the worst thing that could possibly happen to a couple.
Photo by Shutterstock. Why do men need space in relationships? Why do they get distant after sex or pull away when they are falling in love? Why do guys never know what they want? For women who date men, the male brain can sometimes seem like a total enigma.
7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship
Being left wondering why men pull away when things seemed really good in relationships can leave anyone feeling confused, panicked, and rejected. The first thing you should know is that this isn't necessarily a bad thing for your relationship. In fact, when you accept his request and give him space, it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer together as a couple. Most people occasionally need some time by themselves to investigate and figure out their deepest feelings and thoughts. By following my best dating tips and advice below, you can learn how to make him miss you and want him more than ever by doing a few things that will help sway his emotions and decisions in your favor. When a man says he needs his space, there are usually two things happening simultaneously inside his head.
Men want commitment. They really are not that confusing but will only commit to a woman who is not out to control him with man-management. Men do not need someone to control and mother them and when this happens it is an instant turn-off. Nor do men want a woman who is at all needy or desperate for him to be the source of her happiness. So what makes men tick and how you can you empower yourself to have the relationship you want?
The One Perfect Thing to Say When a Man Says He Needs “Space”
Why Men Pull Away & Ask For Space In A Relationship — And What To Do About It